I gazed at my hands,
my fingers, caressing the keys,
hoping, begging to coax from them music;
something, anything melodious to calm
(as David, with lyre, soothed the tormented Saul)
my soul.
This is…was something I saw, marveling,
and heard, envying,
Audia, my grandmother,
Helen, sister of my grandmother,
Lolita, my mother,
Wayne, my brother,
at piano and organ,
do countless times…
something it seemed, nay, I knew
I ne’er had the grace to do.
I resented my unresponsive fingers,
by talentless gravity bound, still and unsounding.
I closed my eyes,
fearing that my staring, my glaring would bring swift ending
to my (whate’er!) composing.
Is that how it happens?
Only those with the gift can create without seeing?
For what they invent already hath been dream’d and fashioned
in their ageless imaginations?
occasional observations of mind and heart, soul and spirit 
Dear Paul,
Though your fingers may not have created the music you were hoping for, I hope you were able to find calm for your soul. So I have a question for you. Have you ever found solace and comfort in your own words?? I ask because your creativity, for me, comes in the words you put together in your sermons. They are thought-provoking, comforting and spiritual. Is the music you were intended to make in your sermons?
Both of our mothers were unfortunate enough to be victims of Alzheimer’s disease and as you know one of the results of this disease can be agitation. For more than two years one of the few things that could calm my mother were the words from your book of sermons. Even when the pages began to fall out, she would hug the book as if her life depended on it. The calm your words provide to me and my Mom speaks volumes about your level of creativity. I rarely give you advice, but in this case I suggest your read a few of your sermons as if you didn’t write them.
Much love!
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Ah, my dearest Loretta, you suggest that I “read a few of (my) sermons as if (I) didn’t write them.” Ah, I’d never thought of doing that in that way, that is, so to seek and, perhaps, to find solace in my own words. I will try that.
And thank you for sharing how the words of my sermons helped your blessed mother and you. THAT means the world and beyond to me.
Love
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After I hit send I was worried you’d be offended by my suggestion. I’m so glad you weren’t. Please let me know how it goes….I’d start with some of the sermons in your book because I think they are some of your most powerful.
Love
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Offended by your recommendation? No, not a chance. I loved it. I love you. I loved the fact that you thought to offer me a way to review my own words in a fashion that might, that, doubtless, will prove beneficial for me. It shows your care, for which I am grateful, most grateful.
Thank you. Love you
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A lovely piece. Thanks for sharing! I am a Creative Life Coach with a passion for poetry and have a blog in case you also have time to look? I am also on Instagram as #coachingcreatively in case you are interested in following. Today’s blog post is about being present. Have a good Monday! Sam 🙂 https://peacockpoetryblog.wordpress.com/2019/01/21/getting-better-everyday/
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Thank you, Sam. I will take a look at your blog. Peace
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Thank you ✌️
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Sam, I’ve begun to follow you. Looking forward, very much forward to ruminating on your offerings. Love
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