Jesus said: “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”
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Mourning is not the melancholia that bemoans all things.(1)
To mourn is to sorrow deeply for and with others. A sorrow, indeed, an ability and a willingness to suffer for and with others that arises out of the recognition of the essential and abiding fragility of the human body and mind. Each of us, every day, is susceptible and, one day, will succumb unto death to illness or injury.
Therefore, to mourn is to acknowledge the constant need – my need and, dare I universalize my sense of things and say, our need – for the comfort of care.
What does this look like for me?
When I am mourning, my eyesight is sharpened. I can see in the creases of your countenance the lines on which the message of your grave need is scripted, even before you (and even if you do not) give voice to it.
When I am mourning, my hearing is accentuated. So, if (when) you do speak, I can listen as much to the silences between your syllables as the words you share and detect the deeper echoes of your heart’s sorrow.
When I am mourning, I die to myself, so to live for you; holding out to you in my hands, offering to you my heart to beat in harmony with yours; creating a duet, a stronger song of the shared care of comfort.
Footnote:
(1) For reasons of some less than edifying tutelage during my formative years, I long have tended to lean toward pessimism. Thus, the blessedness of being mournful as Jesus teaches as opposed to being moody and gloomy, as I well know how to do, was a difficult lesson for me to learn and to apply.
occasional observations of mind and heart, soul and spirit 
Good Morning PRA!!
Ok so I was truly dreading / avoiding this one…. but as I get ready for my luncheon event today here are my thoughts….
I LOVED this “Therefore, to mourn is to acknowledge the constant need – my need and, dare I universalize my sense of things and say, our need – for the comfort of care.”
I realize that I STILL need constant care even though it’s been almost 3 years since we lost Tim (cause it sure wasn’t just me who lost him)….
What I also realize is that I can now provide much of the care I need for myself….I clearly didn’t get that til I began doing huge amounts of manual labor during my somewhat disastrous renovation project. When the renovation errors first started occurring I kept wondering, what would Tim be thinking!! He’d have been pissed and then he would have fixed it. Which I did though it cost me a ton of money, but at least it’s resolved. The errors certainly didn’t aid my mourning in a positive way, but the outcome has!!
I loved how you explained your quote above, with your eyesight sharpened and your hearing accentuated…. I’m going to start to focus on that as I reach out and comfort others in mourning for their loved ones with Alzheimer’s… as we know we mourn even though our loved ones are still physically present.
I feel both comforted and restored from this blog post so I thank you!! I can now proceed with my day!!
Much love!
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My dear Loretta, thank you for your words – always so personal and transparently revealing, which means something that I wrote and shared spoke to you deeply. I am grateful.
You had mentioned in an earlier post that we approach the third anniversary of Tim’s death. I have said to you many times that I think of Tim every day and, on some days, many times a day. When you told Pontheolla and me of the difficulties with the renovation project (and, thank goodness, it’s done and to your satisfaction!), I thought: What if Tim was here/there? I’m sure he would’ve handled the matter in an expeditious and effective way. Well, my dear, it’s all left to you to do and YOU did well; though, at some point(s), it may not have felt that way to you!
As for my description of what it is to mourn, I have beheld these evidences in myself. For example, when one appears to me with furrowed brow, I almost can read the sentiments of that person’s heart and soul. And when one speaks, when I am in mourning for that person, I do listen to the sighs and silences and, somehow (by God’s grace), I oft can intuit the truth and meaning of what the person has yet to discern and express.
Happy, always, to be of any help to you in proceeding with your day!
Carry on!
Love
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