A-Lenten-Prayer-a-Day, Day 2

Note: As a personal, spiritual discipline, reviving my practice in the Lenten season of 2017, I revise the prayers I wrote then for each of the forty days of this Lent; each petition focusing on a theme, a concern weighing on my mind and heart or a care of my soul and spirit.

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On self-knowledge, self-loathing, & self-love (being a meditation on 1 John 4.19)…

O my Lord, I oft fancy that one day soon I might love my self.

Yet, thus far in my living, I find myself daily paying this great cost of self-knowledge: Being too aware of my failings, too wary of my flaws, I cannot love my self without condition…

I cannot love myself without, at best, saying, sometimes with sorrow’s murmur, sometimes with loathing’s bellow, “If only I had not done (this or that), none of which I can forget and if only I was not (this or that), none of whom I can forsake, I might attempt my self to love!”

Yet, my Lord, Your Word teaches me that You, as Love, loved me first – and not first and once, but first and always, aye, first and forever – so that I can love.

Thus, I pray that I, by Your Spirit, may continue to know my lack, though not that I may cling more grievously to my despair, but rather that I may cleave all the more joyously to You, to Love.

Amen.

2 thoughts on “A-Lenten-Prayer-a-Day, Day 2

  1. Paul,

    I’d click the like button on this prayer but honestly it makes me sad! I hope that you one day can love yourself unconditionally just as God does (and many others too!)

    Much love!

    Like

  2. Loretta, your words…you are kind to me. And I thank you.

    Still, the way I have experienced it, life and my self, is that I, as human, cannot do anything – including loving my self – unconditionally. For as an inescapable aspect of my humanness is my limitations, my inability to do all things and, indeed, anything completely, then I cannot do anything without condition. For this reason, I, in faith, trust God and the unconditionality of divine love. At best, then, I strive to mirror that love for my self and for others, though, by definition and description, only partially.

    All this said, as I also believe that God is a God of Self-revelation, I seek to remain open, that is, obedient to what God shows me about the divine-human relationship. Perhaps, one day, I can and will see more clearly how to replicate what hath been given me toward others and, indeed, my self.

    Love and, again, my thanks

    Liked by 1 person

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