Note: As a personal, spiritual discipline, reviving my practice in the Lenten season of 2017, I revise the prayers I wrote then for each of the forty days of this Lent; each petition focusing on a theme, a concern weighing on my mind and heart or a care of my soul and spirit.
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On following Jesus and repentance (being a meditation on Matthew 4.17-22)…
O Jesus, as You called Your first disciples, so, throughout the ages, You continue to call, and, daily, hourly, moment by moment, You call unto me, saying, “Follow me.”
O Jesus, I relish these words of your summons; receiving them as confirmation that You love me and want me to be with You where You are.
Yet I confess that I am not fond of that first word with which You inaugurated Your earthly ministry. That first word, which Your call, “Follow me,” always follows. That first word that You also daily, hourly, moment by moment speak unto me: “Repent.”
Nevertheless, I believe, I know that following You requires repentance. My repentance. For never does my wavering heart, somehow, impose its separate will upon my steadfast God-fearing soul. Nay! I choose to follow my own path, thus, forsaking Your gracious leading and guiding.
So, O Jesus, I pray You, in Your Love and Desire for me, continue to call unto me, “Follow me,” always first saying, “Repent.”
Amen.
Illustration: Jesus calling Peter and Andrew, James Tissot (1836-1902)
occasional observations of mind and heart, soul and spirit 
Ahhhhh Repenting…. that sure can be hard Paul!! Some folks can do it with ease and carry on with life…. and others can’t even think about bringing themselves close to repenting….and no matter what we do, God will love us anyway so I’m sure some people will ask do I really NEED to repent??
And btw, that St. Matthews live version of Sunday’s sermon was pure FIRE!!
Much love
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Loretta, I am not sure that some people repent with ease. In fact, I am sure, in light of the “secret faults” (as I interpret the psalmist’s word, those errors and ills of which we are unconscious), that none of us repents easily and, surely, never completely. For if I don’t know of my offense, how can I repent, turn away from it?
In this, I think of times when I have intended one thing, but the person to and for whom I acted, I thought, for good, took offense and did not alert me to my error. Only when I am advised that I caused hurt, which I didn’t intend and which I didn’t think I had done, am I able to make amends…
Taking this another step further, I think of the harm I cause myself, which I didn’t intend or which I didn’t think I was doing. (Myriad are the examples of which come to mind!) How can I repent of the error of my ways to myself when I am not aware that I have hurt myself?
Complicated business!
Of one thing I am certain (and with deepest gratitude). As you write: “…no matter what we do, God will love us anyway.” Amen to that! And thank goodness! Thank God!
And thanks for your compliment on the sermon video. I appreciate you and your word of approbation!
Love
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