A Coronavirus Chronicle #8

Quarantine Fatigue (n.): A condition of enervation, touching all aspects of human beingness (physical and mental, psychological and spiritual, and financial), evidenced in diminished self-esteem and weakened self-control, as a response to the sudden, external, and wholesale (i.e., global) coronavirus-imposed (i.e., non-individually freewill chosen) restrictions to daily life.

depression

Now, in the eighth (or is it the ninth? tenth?) week of social-distancing and quarantine-at-home safety measures “to flatten the curve” of COVID-19 infections so to preserve our fragile health care system that it not be overwhelmed by vast numbers of the ailing and dying, when did it happen that:

My hands, though having more free time, accomplished less?

My mind, though freer to wander, less circumscribed by the necessity of being attentive to a schedule (in part, the product of the needs and expectations of others) wondered less?

My heart, though characteristically pounding with a wide range of (sometimes, raging) emotions, felt less?

I don’t remember. Thus, I don’t know when. Nevertheless, it has happened.

So, what do I do? What am I doing?

I recall and count my blessings. Among them…

I have faith, trust, confidence in God who creates and sustains life. Thus, I believe, I know that, even at my best, nothing truly need depend on me and, even at my worst, nothing truly can be destroyed by me.

I am wedded to Pontheolla. She who loves me daily. She who daily (still) likes me, sometimes because of who I am (at my best) and sometimes in spite of who I am (at my worst). Because of her, who, in this, can see me more clearly than I can see myself, I can and do stand outside of my obsessive care (read: worry) about what I’m doing and not doing, thus, fretting less about my fatigue.

I have friends who (though knowing far less about me than Pontheolla knows [thank God!]) accept and embrace me because and in spite of who I am. Thus, I know that within this circle of kindred fellowship, I, even in moments of loneliness, never am alone.

I, retired, have benefit of a stable pension, which allows me the privilege of not having to worry about the provision of basic necessities and which allows me to give more away for the sake of others who have less.

I live in a comfortable, spacious home surrounded by psalmic verdant pasture. Thus, where and when others abide in cramped quarters and walk along concrete corridors, I, at any moment of any given day when I choose, can partake of the wonders of Nature’s flora.

What do you do and how are you doing in this time of quarantine fatigue?

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