(Jesus said) “One of you will betray me…the one to whom I give this piece of bread when I have dipped it in the dish.” When Jesus had dipped the piece of bread, he gave it to Judas son of Simon Iscariot…After receiving the piece of bread, Judas immediately went out. It was night (John 13.21b, 26, 30)
Profess often your sins to God…not considering them as cast across the long course of life, but joined in one continued confession (Jeremy Taylor)
Judas took bread from your hand, O Lord, and then (and what, I oft wonder, did he think, feel about this, your merciful-kindness?) swiftly went out into the darkness. The night. A mantle hiding his disloyalty from human sight (but impossible to conceal from your knowing his heart’s deceit).
How oft, beyond counting, O Lord, have I received from the hand of your saving-heart the bread of your Self-giving only to betray you by living not by your grace, but by my selfish choice?
By this, my self-inquisition, O Lord, I know that I never can be done with Donne; his words giving unerring voice to my heart’s incessant sorrowing:
Wilt Thou forgive that sin, where I begun,
Which is my sin, though it were done before?
Wilt Thou forgive those sins through which I run,
And do run still, though still I do deplore?
When Thou hast done, Thou hast not done,
For I have more.
© 2021 PRA
Jeremy Taylor (1613-1667). Quote from Holy Living; IV. Humility, To Increase Humility, 1 (1650)
John Donne (1573-1631), English writer and metaphysical poet, Anglican cleric and renown preacher. A Hymn to God the Father, verse 1 (1623).
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